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Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
  • AC: What should I be for Halloween?
  • WC: Justin Bieber.

The sausage game: where every question must be answered with "sausage"
  • A: What does yo momma look like?
  • W: Sausage.

Lately, I’ve been noticing the worst in you.


  • S: What are you? What are your hands? Are you a praying mantis?
  • A: I'm a bunny.
  • S: No. Your hands are praying mantis hands.
  • A: No one understands me.

Soul mates

Lately, I’ve been reorganizing my life- relationships included.  I’ve never believed in one true love or love at first sight or even soul mates.  But I’ve also had a revelation about soul mates- they don’t have to be a romantic partner. I think your soul mate brings out the best in you, considers you an equal and wants you to be happy. Your soul mate probably has the same values as you, and aspires to the same level you do. You can do anything together - you can do nothing together - and it feels just fine. Your soul mate is a dog person, like you. And of course, all your soul mate sees and does and loves in you, you return. And to top it all off, you may even have more than one.

This is me saying that, through all the years of varying degrees of closeness, through all the revelations about life and ourselves and the people around us, you are forever lovely, amazing, and my soul mate. Thank you. (And, I guess, you’re welcome.)


"Why do I only make myself laugh?!"
— A

My siblings on the hoover dam

A: the hoover dam? Was that made by beavers?
S: OH MY GOD. It’s giant. It’s a man made dam!
A: you said “dam”, right? Beavers make dams!

W: did you say “hoover dam”?
S: yes.
W: that’s the only dam I know!


"I like meeting new people… but… they don’t meet me!"
— A

Making fun of my siblings

whatshouldwecallme:

When it’s me: 

When it’s someone else:


"(Watching Justin’s Bieber’s Boyfriend video) Shut up, Justin Bieber. Stop dancing. You can’t dance. You learned that from “Baby”."
— A

"Avatar fans actually scare me so much."
— A

  • A: Oh no.
  • S: What?
  • A: Did he get her an iPhone?
  • S: Why would that be bad?
  • A: She can't even use the phone she has now. She can't even use a trackpad on a laptop. She can't turn the alarm off on her cellphone. She can't change the time on clocks. She can't record things on our DVR.
  • S: Oh my god.
  • A: You know what our days are going to be full of? Questions. What is the home key. How do I turn this on.

"The girl who said “like” 27 times is googling “bitchy quotes” for her facebook status… I’m losing so much faith in humanity."
— A

Tim Hortons lasagna ad
  • A: That's not even lasagna. It's a lie. It's lie-sagna.
  • S: Oh my GOD

  • S: When people ask "do you speak Mexican?" or "do you speak Latin?" It's like, "yes, I speak Spanish".
  • A: I actually made that mistake once.
  • S: Oh, my god.
  • A: What?! Mexicans have ther own food but not their own language?
  • S: Oh, my god.